Welcoming our son, Asaph Jedidiah!

Bianca Helen Estandarte
11 minutes ago
7 min read

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Psalm 23:6

In August of 2025, we learned that we were expecting, and on my 41st birthday, December 2025, we found out it was a boy.

I've always wanted another child after 2 wonderful girls because Drew and I feel that we still have so much love to give another human being. This time, we wanted it to be a baby boy so I could have a mini version of Drew. But when Serene turned 7, and we weren't getting one, we surrendered the desire to the Lord — we were even saying "kung meron, 'Thank you Lord', and kung wala 'Thank you parin Lord'". In August of 2025, we learned that we were expecting, and on my 41st birthday, December 2025, we found out it was a boy.

We named him ASAPH JEDIDIAH. Asaph, because I feel in my heart that he will be gifted with song and would be a worshipper, which one of our dear friends also prophesied. And, Jedidiah, because we were looking for a name that meant beloved of the Lord, and this name was exactly that.

I had a pretty chill and healthy pregnancy, so I thought I'd be able to easily give birth to Jedi via VBA2C (vaginal birth after 2 caesareans), but God had other plans. My labor and delivery were so unforgettably difficult and painful that it ended up in an emergency CS, and for a second, Drew thought he was going to lose me. But that's not what I'm writing about because what unfolded after seemed to be every new parent's worst nightmare.

After his birth, I had challenges nursing him. We would both struggle, and he would cry a lot before getting a successful latch, so when I noticed that his breathing seemed different, like sobbing from a long cry, I didn't think too much of it. On the first evening at home, I felt that he was "too warm" and true enough; his temperature was at 38°C and even going higher. At first, we thought that it was probably because it was too hot that day, so we just texted his birth pedia and were advised to give Jedi a tepid sponge bath and Paracetamol.

The fever kept coming back, so Drew decided that we bring our son to our trusted pediatrician from a different hospital instead. It was God's mercy and grace in action because that discernment has proven to be very vital in Jedi's healthcare. In the next few hours, we went from two parents bringing our child to the doctor for a fever to becoming two very confused and helpless parents being told that our son breathing could stop and he needed to be admitted to the NICU.

It was like my world was going to crash. I had lost a son 20 years ago, and at that time, it seemed that everything was coming back to me, and I was almost at the brink of going crazy.

Meron talagang mga bagay na ipapagawa si Lord na akala mo para sa church, or para sa ibang tao, pero ang totoo, para sa'yo lang talaga.

But then a testimony from our church crossed my mind — one I covered and tried to produce for our building project fundraising efforts, but didn't get to publish because of some technical and scheduling challenges. The mother had preeclampsia and had to deliver the baby prematurely. Their kid just recently turned a year old, and at the last service I attended before giving birth, I took a photo of them as a family while the baby raised her hands in worship and meant to show them later.

Meron talagang mga bagay na ipapagawa si Lord na akala mo para sa church, or para sa ibang tao, pero ang totoo, para sa'yo lang talaga. I remember the words our pastor said to her during their ordeal, "Ngayon mo i-declare kung sino si God sa buhay mo...". I held on to those words as if our pastor was speaking to me and declared who God was in our lives and the life of our son.

"Lord, thank You for giving us the gift that is Jedi. Lord, You are all-powerful, all-mighty, all-knowing, but most of all, You are also a kind, merciful, compassionate, and loving God. I know that You have a mighty purpose for him, he who is Asaph, a gatherer of worshippers, and he who is Jedidiah, your beloved. You are our Jehovah Rapha, please heal our son, Lord. You are our Jehovah Jireh, please help us fund his medication. We dedicate him to You, oh Lord — hindi ko man alam kung anong sinasabi sa mga dedication, but Lord, Drew and I will do our best to raise Jedi in the knowledge of You, having a relationship with You, so that by the time that he's old enough, he will choose You; He will obey You; He will be able to fulfil the purpose that You've set for him. I know that there is nothing I can say or do that will coerce You to spare Jedi, but I also know that You love us and You love Jedi. You hold our future, and You will not forsake your servant. Lord, please drown out all the noise so that the only voice I hear is Yours. I take every thought captive and destroy every thought against the knowledge of You. I cast out every doubt, every fear, and every lie of the enemy to the pit of hell. Comfort me, Lord. We surrender our Jedi at the foot of the Cross. Please cover him with Your precious blood. This we ask in the mighty name of Jesus, AMEN."

Paulit ulit ko siyang dine-declare, oftentimes out loud, and played worship songs all throughout.

Then the Lord reminded me of when Jesus healed the official's son, it said in John 4 of the Bible...

"Go," Jesus replied, "your son will live..."

..."Your son will live." So he and his whole household believed.

I was relieved and consoled. I found peace and held on to God's promises that strengthened me.

Jedi was admitted to NICU because...

The sobbing breathing that I noticed was an indication of laboured breathing, which turned out to be pneumonia from the X-ray results. An IV line had to be inserted into his blood vessels for antibiotics and more blood tests. He also needed oxygen support via a cannula.

Further blood tests showed that he had sepsis aside from pneumonia, so from only one antibiotic, to 3 different antibiotics eventually had to be administered.

His skin and eyes were more yellow than normal for neonates, and tests showed that he had concerning levels of Bilirubin. He needed phototherapy, which meant being under 2 UV light sources with a cover to protect his eyes.

He hadn't been pooping since after his birth, and the stomach x-ray revealed that he had a lot of gas and poop stuck in his digestive system. This made the medical team decide to take him off direct breastfeeding and administer breastmilk via an OGT instead.

Poor baby... But because of God's Word, we remembered that we are victors. I stopped crying and mothered up, despite having just gone through CS surgery — the joy of the Lord was my strength.. We rallied the findings to our loved ones and spiritual family so we can all pray for Jedi. Words of encouragement, prayers, and financial support immediately poured in, and we were blessed; our faith kept growing.

Day by day, the Lord has shown us His love and unparalleled faithfulness.

We were sent to an unusual, isolated NICU section that had a chair, a long John, and a restroom — allowing us some rest and comfort, because the hospital was renovating and that was the only available accommodation. Around 3 times, we were supposed to be transferred to the regular isolated NICU, letting go of these conveniences, but it never happened for various reasons.
All the doctors and nurses were very highly skilled, so they were able to take care of and console Jedi amidst all procedures, even better than we could have. I don't think Jedi could've received the same care and expertise elsewhere.
Jedi's jaundice faded, and the Bilirubin levels went down, allowing the doctors to stop phototherapy.
He was able to poop and receive milk without stress to his heart and breathing, so they allowed him to breastfeed directly until the OGT was removed.
His breathing and oxygen saturation reached normal levels, so his O2 support was removed.
At this point, we were discharged from NICU to a regular room to continue IV antibiotics, reducing our daily hospital expenses significantly.

We stayed in the hospital for a total of 11 days, and in those moments, I began to appreciate the Lord’s blessings more than ever.

I have a wonderful husband and the best 2 older kids anyone could ever have. Drew took care of Jedi and me through it all. He was a strong leader who set the tone of God's faithfulness over Jedi's condition and our financial situation. At home, our girls took care of themselves and the household; Cooking their own food, doing the laundry and other household chores, sending us stuff through Lalamove, and were just holding it out on their own.

We’re home now, and I recall the Lord throwing me back a familiar question from one of our difficult conversations. This time, I had a different answer — If I were given the chance to choose whether to be created or not, it would be a thousand times "YES, please create me, Lord!". I'd rather go through all the hardships I knew and would ever experience again and again just for the joy of keeping this family He has gifted me with.

The experience also taught me to live in the moment. I appreciated that life is so short and there are just moments you can never take back. So I'll endure…

every sleepless night,

every ache in my body,

every uncertainty,

every financial blow,

every problem solving session,

knowing that He is sovereign and is always with us, loves us…

for the privilege of also taking everything in,

every seemingly boring moment at the hospital,

every conversation with Drew and our children,

every loving and caring message from our loved ones and spiritual family,

and every uncomfortable and challenging act of obedience towards God's purpose.